Just thinking about my "child of many Rosaries", my Mary Theresa(I often call her Tee.) I was on bedrest for about 1/3 of my pregnancy with her. I almost miscarried her so many times!

She doesn't sleep well, has never slept well, and has at times been a trial. However, she is also a very loving child, and has her own distinctive (and oft stubborn) style. She is very precious to me, and interestingly enough, I see so much of myself reflected back at me from her. I'm told that she is a lot like me when I was young. Like me, *but different*, because obviously, she's not me. <---How's that for profundity? Ha! She is very original. I don't see in her that tendency to try to copy others' behavior or styles...she just had the hair stylist chop off most of her long hair, at a time when most adolescents her age are growing it long, no bangs. Then we went to Uptown Cheapskate and she picked out a leather jacket and sleek black shades. Very cool she was. I have to be the voice of reason and remind her that she is extremely farsighted, and she'd better wear her REAL glasses, most of the time. Because I'm the Mommy, that's why.

She is an artist, that I can see from the time and effort that she spends on her drawings. She has a tender heart, I can see that from the tender ministrations that she gives to Miss Whitney, our cat.

To be continued...

 Musings 7/9/14 by Carol

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.     Today is the first day of the rest of my life. (I know, I know, you seventies children, myself  included, the song actually goes, "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.") I am working Step 12 currently, and...wow. Step Eleven was huge. I felt myself coming into my own. Does anyone out there know what I mean...the it's ok to be me, at times it's fantastic kind of feeling???!!!! I know that the program extends on into infinity(ie, we aren't done at Step 12), because we aren't perfect. You know what that says to me? You mean it's this good now??? What's it going to be like later?!?    Don't get me wrong, I have studied and lived spirituality long enough to know of long dry spells without consolation, but hey, I *know* about that, and can talk to a good spiritual friend about it. I can mention it in Confession and get graces to withstand some aridity. I can seek for what I have learned through my trials, for there is good meditative fodder there.     Back to Step 11...what did I do? I answered the questions in the Al-Anon book, "Paths to Recovery--Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions, and Concepts." I prayed. I pulled a lot from my Catholic faith, and some of the reading that I have done in the past. A peasant replied to St John Vianney once when asked about how he prayed, "I look at the good God, and He looks at me." That phrase was ever present in my mind as I worked that Step. How simple. How *perfect*! As simple as that??? Well, life being what it is, it never really is quite that easy, but ya know what??? I'll take it. My life has so much more meaning now. Nothing is in vain. Nothing.

seventh step reflection

I'm in Al-Anon. A family group for those who either live with an alcoholic or grew up with alcoholics. I'm in the latter group. I think that if I drank(and I don't), I'd be a double winner, that is to say that I'd be in Alcoholics Anonymous as well. I am saving myself some time and agony, and just staying the hell away from alcohol. So much of what I hear in the rooms and in the Al-Anon literature (and what I have seen in my own life) keeps me away as well...the stories of children being raped by relatives, (and not realizing that all they had to do was to *say* something to break the vicious cycle of abuse), parents abusing each other, taking all the cash to buy booze, fighting, suicide attempts. So we, the children, learn to *try* to control something, because our lives are so out of control. We end up manipulating, mothering, controlling, and friendless, or close to it. What have I learned, in one sweeping nugget of wisdom, from Al-Anon? That God alone is in control. Do I have control over other members of my family? No. Who can I help the most? Me. 


I have reached the seventh step of twelve. That doesn't mean that I am DONE. Oh, noooooooo. For I am human, imperfect. So, it follows that God is not going to remove all my imperfections in a blinding flash. Instead, he is already working on removing defects in a symphony, a rhythm known only to Him, perfected just for me, so that I may learn life lessons from what is to follow, and from the brief glances in the rearview mirror of my life. I can savor the improvements that I see *with His inspiration*. I have "seen" this symphony, played out in a brief flash, during meditation one day while working on step 6. 

I will be working these steps for.the.rest.of.my.life. And not just because a priest said that I needed to do it, although I thank that priest wholeheartedly for my introduction to this spiritual path. Also, it is not because the program says that I need to work them. It is because I have seen what they are doing for me. The beautiful thing, the most beautiful thing of all, is that it doesn't interfere with my Faith, not one iota, instead, it strengthens it, and completes it. I am learning to love without fear, and to love those who don't think the same as I do, and indeed way differently than I do. I hope to see that I am leaving being judgmental behind for love and acceptance. This person is in this "place" for a reason, and I don't know everything, and ***I should ALWAYS assume the best of intentions, any time.*** (and what place am I in? Hmmmm?)

When ready, we say something like this: "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen." 

Arggggghhhhh!

Non Catholics: why is it that when you first meet me and find out that I am Catholic, you take it upon yourself to educate me on Sacred Scripture?

One of these days I'm going to just start giving people a discourse on the 6th chapter of the Gospel of St John!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Don is SO much better at this than I am)
"Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ."
~St Jerome

All the things you need to know about using a ruffler foot but were afraid to ask :)

https://www.youcanmakethis.com/info/featured-products/free-the-ruffler-unruffled.htm
I am going to go over this soon, as I have just gotten a ruffler foot. Not much else to say right now....cleaning up my formal LR and turning it into a sewing room.

the prayer I'm working on now...

I realize that the people who wronged me were spiritually sick. Though I did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed me, they, like myself, were sick, too. I ask God to help me show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend, When a person offended I said to myself, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy Will be done."

more sewing projects....and my sewing corner :-)))))

 My sewing corner

 pink bermuda shorts(4T)

skort rear view(4T)...same pattern as above, modified

I have been having sew(lol) much fun with sewing lately, and rediscovering some creativity.

 I have realized that when I have a better spiritual life, the creative juices flow.  I make a point to wake up early and pray, and then I go back to sleep until Lil Bit(AM) wakes me up. 

Tocolate

...that's what Anne-Marie calls chocolate. Funny, the spelling looks like it should be some kind of pharmaceutical, lol. She can't wrap her tongue around the consonant c right now.

latest sewing projects...

Will have to wait to post more, found camera, but the battery is dead. I really, really like this fabric. I also made a very simple skirt with it.

I am also making bermuda shorts. I have a nice template pattern for all 3 girls' sizes, and so it takes maybe 1-2 hours to make them. I'm making 1-1.5 a day. Great for wading in the creek, and possibly as pj bottoms.

sewing experiments

So(or should I say, "sew", yuk, yuk, yuk!), I've been playing around with a pattern lately. I've been planning some longer shorts for the girls, and I was looking at Simplicity 2429(dress, top, shorts) http://sewing.patternreview.com/Patterns/38283 , and I noticed that the dress front would tie in and make a cute skort front for the younger girls. So, I set to work. This was a very easy pattern to sew. I had FREE fabric that I scored at our homeschool swap, and some daisy/eyelet trims in my grab bag.

Don't have pics yet, because my camera battery mysteriously disappeared, and I am waiting on one to arrive from Amazon. But I will post them as they are done :-).

and yet more cooking experiments...

This morning, I wanted to celebrate Sunday by fixing something doughnut-like. I found this recipe in A World of Breads by Dolores Casella. It is a minimally sweet recipe.

Bunuelo Puffs
4 large eggs, separated
4 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1T sugar(I used 3)
1 cup milk

Beat egg yolks and whites separately and then fold together. Blend flour, baking powder, and sugar. Fold this into the egg mixture alternately with the milk. Drop spoonfuls of the batter in hot fat.

*I dipped these in honey to add a glaze. Adding confectioner's sugar would make these taste like sopapillas.

Next time, I may add some lemon or orange zest, OR some cinnamon. I can't decide if we'll have these or regular doughnuts at Easter. Maybe by then I'll find a Fry Daddy/Granpappy at Goodwill.

Cooking experiments

We had soft tacos the other night. I made extra taco meat filling because we always run out if I use a pound of ground beef. So~~~we had leftovers, and I took some extra whole wheat tortillas , and filled them with meat and cheddar, putting them in a glass baking dish. I then topped it with taco sauce, tomato sauce, cheese, onions, and pinto beans. Wrapped it up with plastic wrap, put it in the deep freeze, and it is waiting for someone who needs it or for after my gallbladder surgery, coming up. 

Cooking experiments

Pressure cooker cheesecake...pretty neat, huh? It set after 30 minutes of high pressure. 

2- 8 oz packages of cream cheese

5 eggs

1/2 cup turbinado sugar

pecans

graham cracker crumbs

2 T butter(melted)

Mix first 3 ingredients in  food processor. Chop pecans in mini processor, and add melted butter and ~1/2 -3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs. Press into bottom of 7" springform pan. Place pan in a "basket" made of foil, so that water doesn't leak in. Make 2' foil strips to facilitate pan removal after cooking time is done. I cooked this for 30 minutes under high pressure, with natural pressure release to keep the top from breaking. The results: not very pretty cosmetically, BUT tasty!

Ash Wednesday

"Remember man, that thou art dust and unto dust shalt thou return"

March 9, 2011.
Thus begins Ash Wednesday, and the season of Lent. A gray day, with some heavy rain, heavy to the point that I thought the back yard was going to fill up(TBTG it didn't). I try to remember that God allows us the gray days for a reason, namely that our grass will begin to green up(as it is already doing here), and I am trying to compare this to the "grey days" in my life, and how God has sustained me through them, and taught me much about patience, humility(I would hope, lol), among other things. I am not saying that I am perfect in these virtues, indeed, I have far to go, BUT the fact that I realize this is *something* indeed. Progress, not perfection is definitely something I am trying to practice.

 Spring itself speaks of me to Our Lord's Resurrection. I have noticed lately, with the advent of springlike weather, that my world is filled with such incredible beauty, buds bursting, the air fragranced with the irresistible smell of moist pavement, daffodils, the irrepressible greening of grass, brilliantly jewel-like camellias blooming here in the South.

challenges

I have epilepsy. Not just epilesy. It's the kind-that-keeps-you-from-driving epilepsy. Now that we have lovely crisp mornings here I am going to add exercise to my routine to see if that will help. Otherwise, I am trying to juggle taking the meds, talking to doctors, and more doctors, and keep living life and ***LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD***.

It's challenging....and humbling to have to ask for help, but it has been so rewarding, too. I am making friends(in one case, I didn't even realize that there's another hs family not too far down the street, which is blossoming into a friendship for me and playmates for the children...I've had food brought over by my homeschooling group after an ER visit, such love and comfort, and service to God!

a blog...me?

I have always wondered how my friends that blog had the time to do it. Here I am, it's 5 AM, and I can't sleep. I have a friend who has 11 children, and manages to keep a blog, raise her 11 children on her own, and do a pretty decent job of it. So I know there has to be hope for me. :-)))))))