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 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. (I know, I know, you seventies children, myself included, the song actually goes, "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.") I am working Step 12 currently, and...wow. Step Eleven was huge. I felt myself coming into my own. Does anyone out there know what I mean...the it's ok to be me, at times it's fantastic kind of feeling???!!!! I know that the program extends on into infinity(ie, we aren't done at Step 12), because we aren't perfect. You know what that says to me? You mean it's this good now??? What's it going to be like later?!?
Don't get me wrong, I have studied and lived spirituality long enough to know of long dry spells without consolation, but hey, I *know* about that, and can talk to a good spiritual friend about it. I can mention it in Confession and get graces to withstand some aridity. I can seek for what I have learned through my trials, for there is good meditative fodder there.
Back to Step 11...what did I do? I answered the questions in the Al-Anon book, "Paths to Recovery--Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions, and Concepts." I prayed. I pulled a lot from my Catholic faith, and some of the reading that I have done in the past. A peasant replied to St John Vianney once when asked about how he prayed, "I look at the good God, and He looks at me." That phrase was ever present in my mind as I worked that Step. How simple. How *perfect*! As simple as that??? Well, life being what it is, it never really is quite that easy, but ya know what??? I'll take it. My life has so much more meaning now. Nothing is in vain. Nothing.
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